Building your professional network can feel like wading through molasses. But there's a tipping-point, after which the critical mass will allow you to create value for the right person at the right moment almost effortlessly. This is when networking stops being a chore and turns into a game - a potentially very productive game.
First Discernment, then Follow-up
The strongest networks are built by
professionals who: 1) enjoy spending time with each other, 2) have
developed high-level skills around networking - and not always in that
order.
I outlined the skill of Discernment In part one of this blog. Discernment tells me when someone is ready to be included in my professional network. That's a privilege I don't take lightly, and neither should you.
But this isn't personal. There's no passing of judgment on anyone here - not on you or on people you meet, for good or for bad. Myth #1 of networking says that we'll be ruthlessly judged by sharks and shysters the moment we walk into the room. Most of us picture a roomful of oily smiles and too many business cards.
An Entrepre-nerd takes that false signal - the presumption of being negatively judged - and rationalizes a choice to opt-out of building a high-functioning network. This myth persists until the Entrpre-nerd learns how to spot the Polished Pros who are always swimming around the shark tank.
The first outward-facing skill of networking is Follow-up. In the course of a lifetime, you’ll probably meet somewhere around 1,000 to 10,000 people. This means that, at most, you’ll meet .0002% of the world’s population. And are you really gonna follow-up with each one of them?
I outlined the skill of Discernment In part one of this blog. Discernment tells me when someone is ready to be included in my professional network. That's a privilege I don't take lightly, and neither should you.
But this isn't personal. There's no passing of judgment on anyone here - not on you or on people you meet, for good or for bad. Myth #1 of networking says that we'll be ruthlessly judged by sharks and shysters the moment we walk into the room. Most of us picture a roomful of oily smiles and too many business cards.
 |
| "Would you like one of my cards?" |
An Entrepre-nerd takes that false signal - the presumption of being negatively judged - and rationalizes a choice to opt-out of building a high-functioning network. This myth persists until the Entrpre-nerd learns how to spot the Polished Pros who are always swimming around the shark tank.
The first outward-facing skill of networking is Follow-up. In the course of a lifetime, you’ll probably meet somewhere around 1,000 to 10,000 people. This means that, at most, you’ll meet .0002% of the world’s population. And are you really gonna follow-up with each one of them?
This Nested Spheres model will make it easier for you to size-up where and how each person might fit into your network, and identify the right people to follow-up with.
How to Prioritize
Picture three spheres, one nested inside the next, with you standing at the center. Each sphere holds a distinct portion of your network. Divvying-up things up this way is useful, because each sphere requires a different type of follow-up and different amounts of effort and attention. (see table at bottom)
Let's work from the outside in; the red zone is for anyone you "don't know yet and probably never will". All those people remain outside of the spheres. This is where you'll keep acquaintances, people who can't qualify as reciprocators, that nice-but-kinda-clueless person you met for lunch the other day goes here too. Let's call this red zone group 'Don't Know Well'.
Moving inside, the largest sphere represent the outer limit of your network. You'll keep one hundred-or-so 'Pals' in this largest yellow sphere.
'Pals' clear your vision and values hurdles, but their ability to reciprocate isn't clear to you yet.
The middle/green sphere is where you keep your 'Allies'. These people have been vetted - they are happy practitioners of reciprocity. A vibrant network has 30-40 Allies.
The small sphere is where you keep your 'Intimates'. Everyone in this group is certainly a reciprocator, but they're also people whose judgement and experience you hold in high esteem. These are the people you sometimes run important decisions by, people you might
even socialize with over the weekend. Most Polished Pros can manage no more than 10 Intimates at a time.
Getting the picture? Before someone can move from Don't Know Well to Pal, they must first clear your Discernment hurdle. And the hurdles don't stop there. As your Allies and Intimates spheres grow, you'll being use different types of discernment at each step.
Entrepre-nerds spend too much time cultivating the wrong people. Why? Because haven't segmented their network yet. They're managing their network tactically - if at all. Polished Pros are checking-in with each one of their spheres in a nice, easy rhythm, managing the process both tactically and strategically. That gives them the magic touch.
Entrepre-nerds spend too much time cultivating the wrong people. Why? Because haven't segmented their network yet. They're managing their network tactically - if at all. Polished Pros are checking-in with each one of their spheres in a nice, easy rhythm, managing the process both tactically and strategically. That gives them the magic touch.
Are You A Reciprocator?
Sharks are takers, pure and simple. Their eyes flash at the scent of blood. Some of them are so smooth that you may not notice their sharkiness right away, but keep practicing discernment and the sharks will always reveal themselves.
But stop right there if you're thinking that overly-generous people are any "better" than sharks. At least with a shark, you always know where you stand. A 'giver' is a moving target, sharing opportunities on a whim, and oddly, declining other people’s offers of help. Get in front of a giver at the right moment and you might 'get the nod', but they're difficult to cultivate. They can can come off like a giddy mass of free-associating pop-rocks shooting in all directions at once.
But stop right there if you're thinking that overly-generous people are any "better" than sharks. At least with a shark, you always know where you stand. A 'giver' is a moving target, sharing opportunities on a whim, and oddly, declining other people’s offers of help. Get in front of a giver at the right moment and you might 'get the nod', but they're difficult to cultivate. They can can come off like a giddy mass of free-associating pop-rocks shooting in all directions at once.
Polished Pros make it easy on themselves and keep both these types of Entrepre-nerds
into the the red zone - Don't Know Well.
Reciprocation is a middle ground between giving and taking. It can be offered so smoothly that at times we don't even notice it happening. It can come in the form of an introduction, information, experience, or opportunity. Reciprocators make their offer gently, thoughtfully, and appropriately. They give with discernment. And they receive with gratitude. Segmenting their network this way lets them shepard their resources - time, energy, and money - more effectively.
Concepts into Action
Each of us has 24 hours in a day. The Pro has mastered a system that allows them to spend their time, energy, and money in increasingly effective ways. They stay plugged-in to those they value the most while keeping in touch with the right people, and staying on-track with lots of others, all at the same time – and making it appear effortless.
Reciprocation is a middle ground between giving and taking. It can be offered so smoothly that at times we don't even notice it happening. It can come in the form of an introduction, information, experience, or opportunity. Reciprocators make their offer gently, thoughtfully, and appropriately. They give with discernment. And they receive with gratitude. Segmenting their network this way lets them shepard their resources - time, energy, and money - more effectively.
Concepts into Action
Each of us has 24 hours in a day. The Pro has mastered a system that allows them to spend their time, energy, and money in increasingly effective ways. They stay plugged-in to those they value the most while keeping in touch with the right people, and staying on-track with lots of others, all at the same time – and making it appear effortless.
‘Share’ (in the 5th column above) is a big topic. This post is already too long, so I’ll cover that all on its own a future post. For now think of Sharing as the Quantity, Quality, and Types of information that you share with your Intimates, your Allies, and your Pals - and sometimes even those folks you don't know very well.
See you there!
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