Imagine - a banker and an attorney who have never met before both decide to go to the same networking event. Neither has much enjoyed past networking experiences, but both both know that they need to really get out there and market themselves. When they signed up for the event a few weeks ago they'd had to psyche themselves up a bit. The talk in their head went something like, "...Its not that hard... You know what to do... Suit up, show up, speak up...". It's time to walk that talk.
Fortunately, their prep for tonight's event goes well. That is, until the attorney begins recalling in detail that time she got nervous and spilled a glass of red wine on that highly-regarded litigator. And the banker? He's feeling nervous too. He's even begun beating himself up about it in his head. His adrenalin goes up as he tells himself, "...Whatever. They're just people... wait, will I need an elevator speech...? ...crap!".
They leave the office and wade thru rush-hour to find parking, but before getting out of their cars neither of them stops to take a few deep breaths. During registration the attorney chips a nail getting her wallet out of her purse, and the banker realizes he's forgotten to bring any of his business cards.
Two Entrepre-nerds Collide
Our banker and attorney circle the room warily, growing dismayed as they aren't coming across anyone they already know. Just then they bump into each other. A handshake, smile, and nod and they get to it, taking turns fumbling their way through introductions.
After a few minutes they each proceed around the room, meeting new people with varying degrees of success. In between they recall the things they dislike about networking. If they hit a moment where it feels like they're not making any headway in the room, they start 'catastrophizing' the evening in their heads.
Their hunched shoulders and slight frowns are signals to the savvier folks in the room to avoid them, if at all possible.
Needless to say,
this is not how to work a room.
The polar opposite of those two is the Shifty-Eyed Sharpie. He hits the room hard, going from handshake to handshake, looking for connections with everyone who seems important. But he's so busy looking for the "right" person to meet that he isn't really connecting with anyone. He may be the guy you picture when you you hear the words "working a room" - a cartoon-ish businessman, eyes scanning the room, pumping everyone's hand and handing out business cards right and left.
Rest assured, this is also not the way to work a room. It can be entertaining (and annoying) for fellow networkers though!
Style is Being Yourself
We've seen two styles of networking in action tonight, and here I am telling you that neither one is the best way to work a room (i.e., enjoy a productive networking event) - so what is the best way?
The best way to work a room is to simply present well (by showing up prepared), to be yourself, and to ask relevant questions of the people you find most interesting.
Imagine now that a Polished Pro had walked up to our banker and attorney. She smiles and joins the conversation, introducing herself, asking informed questions at the right moment.... what happens then? Does the energy-level in that group change? You bet it does!
A Pro views networking as a simple set of techniques that can be mastered, so that they can form trust relationships with like-minded people. A Pro places high value on those relationships, and to that end they hone their technique to the point where its invisible - and highly effective.
In this third example, our Pro's networking style was unassuming and engaging. Her thoughtful questions made her irresistible to the banker and the attorney. She made a great impression with very little effort. And after she explained what she does for a living, both of them asked for her card.
Concept Into Action
Practice makes perfect. Pick a networking skill (like the best way to hand-off your business card), and practice it until you're feeling comfortable with it. Then go out into the real world (it doesn't have to be a networking event) and flex that new skill of yours. Take your lumps, pay attention to the lessons you learn, tune-up your toolkit, and remember that everyone's goal here is progress - not perfection.
What are three things you can do to show up like
a Polished Pro at your next networking event?
a Polished Pro at your next networking event?
Your comments are always welcome.
See you there!
See you there!
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