Walking thru a networking event is a little like a day at the zoo. You've got Bears and Bulls roaring about the implications of today's stock price fluctuations. Across the room you hear the cackle of Hyenas. Off in the corner the Lambs are quietly sipping wine, dreaming of sunny meadows. The Polished Pros are Owl-like, watching and wise. Throw in some Sharks on the hunt, and a Honey badger burrowing into the nearest Bee's nest, and its a jungle in there!
Off-putting? Sure, it can be. The funny thing is, if you were to meet most of those folks in a social setting, they'd be perfectly sweet and charming. So whats going on?
Ever seen a dog pretend to be a horse? I haven't. Does a fish ever think to itself, "Tonight, I'm going to do my best to act like a bird."? Of course not.
They don't, but we do. Why do we resist our own nature? Why do we try to squeeze our round-peg selves into square holes, taking on a style and energy that don't reflect who we really are? Are we saying that because we're wearing our professional clothes and are in the room to do some business development, that we can't be ourselves?
What a great way to miss an opportunity!
Like any other certified Entrepre-nerd, I used to operate this way too. Polished Pros would ask me what I did for fun outside of work and when I told them I surfed, they'd say "You're a surfer? Wow! That's so cool! Where do you go?" I'd get embarrassed and change the subject, or quickly ask them about their interests. I felt like being a surfer was a ticket to not being taken seriously. Now I realize that they could have been looking for a surfer/consultant for their next big project. Or maybe just looking for someone to go surfing with. Oops.
The fact is, rejecting who you are and not embracing your true self in order to be the "right person for the job" is a much quicker ticket to irrelevancy than being a surfer - or being a quilter or a video gamer - will ever be. I'm not suggesting that you dwell on the minutiae of your hobbies in professional settings (another pit-fall of the Entrepre-nerd) - but being excited about your life outside of work is just as important as being good at what you do. You just beat Super Duper Mario Sisters on the Triple Expert setting? That's awesome!
Remember, the best people want to work and collaborate with people who have well-rounded lives. People who's only interest is work tend to be people that are hard to be around, and I know "fer sher, dude" that I won't refer my friends or clients someone who seems hard to be around.
So when the moment presents itself, tell your story, and tell it with pride. A great way to build trust in the early moments of a business relationship is by letting someone you don't know well that you're proud of who you are and excited about what makes you tick.
Concept into Action
The next time you find yourself in a conversation with someone interesting, look for the right moment and ask, "What do you like to do outside of work?". Done at a networking event this can feel a bit like hostage-taking, so be careful, but it's a great question for getting-to-know-you meetings over coffee or a meal.
And when you're asked the same thing, stand up tall, ignore feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, or concern about sounding like a weirdo, and share your story. Celebrate your interests. Be Yourself!
See you there!
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